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Brother and sister are respectively 2 years & 5 months, and 2 months today.

Parenting is the hardest job I’ve ever held so far. There is:

• No training - with the exception of the odd Plunket course and the TV ad reminder not to shake babies.
• A lot of research on various aspects - development, feeding, sleeping, behaviour, daycare/kindy/school, medical conditions, entertainment, gear, etc
• Overtime work - forget the French 35-hour week, this job is round the clock!
• Lack of direction from management - Eloise’s grizzling is undecipherable, while Nico’s ‘More? Please? OK!’ can at least be sometimes translated as ‘Would you please pass me object xxx’
• Little to no financial reward - the government’s pitiful $429.74 per week before tax for 3 months is an insult.
• An unsafe work environment - stepping on marbles and toy cars, bending down to pick up a baby, carrying heavy wriggling loads, dealing with hazardous bio substances, not wearing any ear protection when a tantrum comes up, having my hair used as a climbing support
• Skills and virtues learnt in a do-or-die fashion - multi-tasking, patience, reverse psychology and the newly-acquired skill of not swearing when a toddler drops a heavy book on your toes.
• Absent work colleague - forget about getting help breastfeeding at night time, Daddy doesn’t even stop snoring when Eloise’s cries reach maximum capacity.
• No way out - my contract expires in 17 years and 10 months.

On the other hand, there are other rewards - they’re not financial but intangible, and (in retrospective) worth every bit of hardship we’ve been through (so far).

When I tucked Nico to bed and kissed him goodnight, I whispered to him ‘Je t’aime’. It was midnight and he looked fast asleep so I wasn’t expecting any response. Then a little sleepy voice made itself heard, making an effort to mumble back ‘Ik hou van jou’. Awwww…

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And Eloise has started cooing back when she’s being talked to, and readily smiles back. Being a girl, I definitely expect her to be more advanced than Nico on the communication and charm-using skills. I had forgotten how cute these gummy smiles get. I sure hope my smiles are that cute when I’m old and wrinkly and have lost all my teeth.

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7 weeks on…

… and we’re still all here, sanity still intact. Admittedly, this is only my first week without a Bà Ngoại or Ong Ngoại to help out.

Everyone says that a 2nd baby isn’t that much more work. I think it’s fair to say that this is just another lie, part of this world-wide conspiration to lure unsuspecting parents into having more than one kid. It seems that afternoon naps are merely relay naps when one wakes up right after the other one goes down to sleep. It doesn’t help that Nicolas likes to chatter to himself before going to bed, and that Eloïse’s cries are pretty loud.

Nap time, and still wide awake

That being said, it is infinitely easier with Eloïse this time round. Bastiaan reckons this is because we know what we’re doing and so are more confident & just follow our instincts. It doesn’t mean that hourly grizzles in the middle of the night don’t get to me though. But the other night, just as I got up again, mentally swearing and ready to scowl, Eloïse’s face beamed with a smile… And all admonitions were promptly forgotten… That’s my girl - using her charms to get away with things.

Nappy changes are still painfully messy. N.I.C.O., my Nappy Input and Change Operator, is keen to help by handing me the nappies and cream and generally supervising the procedure. He had a near-fatal encounter, as he tends to pull his fold-up stool right in the line of fire. Had it not been for my lightning quick reflex to put my hand out after Eloïse’s sneeze, Nico’s little face would have been squirted with processed milk. Today she beat her own record. The sneeze-o-meter recorded a 1.2m trail. I realised a few days ago that now every time I change Eloise’s nappies, I feel on the edge.

Brother & sister have their baths together, to speed things up at night time. Nico’s handling it fairly well, even at times wetting Eloïse with his plastic watering can and swiping her tummy with her wash cloth. He’s also been bouncing her in the bouncer when she cries. Next step is to get him to do it more gently so she doesn’t get catapulted half-way through the lounge. He also gave her a rock melon. Must have confused it with a ball after spending the last two days playing football with Bas and I. Lucky it was too heavy for him to kick/throw at her.

Hurray - Nico’s almost toilet-trained (70% is almost). During the day he’s either in cloth nappies or in underpants and is quite happy to pee on the toilet when taken there. On the odd occasion he’ll ask for it (must remember bribes and rewards), and sometimes we’ll have accidents. Thankfully all cacas directly land in the toilet and have been for the last few months now.

Eloïse had a bad case of nappy rash, coupled with some thrush (candida albicans). Tried all sorts of treatment - regular nappy changes, drying well, air time, nappy creams and nothing worked. Got a new cream, Daktozin which is used for fungal infections and while that improved her condition, it still wasn’t all clear. Stumbled across an article while looking for something else - rinse the affected area with 1 tbsp baking powder in 1 ltr water. Within a day her skin was as smooth as a baby’s bum.

I feel a bit bad for not having more stuff for Eloïse - blog posts, pictures, videos, keepsakes etc. But the reality is, I can’t… Not with an active toddler and an awake baby. Oh well, too bad… I’m sure we still will have enough incriminating and embarrassing pictures for her 21st.

Here are some of the cutest (yes yes I know, I’m the mummy so I’m biased) ones:

 

 

Looking more Dutch than Vietnamese

 

 

 

Stunned mullet impersonation 

 

 

 

Supervising Papa’s handiwork from behind her eyelids

6 weeks already!

Feels like Eloise has always been with us. I’d stick to the cliché and say that I can’t remember a time when she wasn’t with us, but this is untrue… I even remember a time when Nico wasn’t with us, and I could just dash out the door whenever I wanted to without needing to first plan for naps, snacks and water, spare clothes, car seats, nappy changes and shoed feet.

First day without Papa who’s deserted the household yet again, this time for a week in Fiji. If I didn’t know better I’d suspect a mistress. I’m lucky enough to have my Dad with me for the next two weeks (week 2, Bas is going to Australia. I’m feeling unloved.) so this really helps.

We went grocery shopping today, and there is no way I’m taking both kids out shopping by myself. Between Nico who was quite happy wandering around the fruit & vege store by himself (no dual toddler/infant trolley) and Eloise who didn’t want to, understandably, stay in the uncomfortable plastic infant seat, I was wishing for the nth time that I were an octopus. Or at least grow just one single third arm so I could hold both kids and push the trolley. That’d be a 50% improvement. Evolution hasn’t really kept up with mummies’ needs - disappointing. And forget the supermarket embarrassment of having a toddler throwing a tantrum. Worse than that is getting a premature let-down reflex right on the day you forgot to wear a bra & breast pads then having to walk around with two wet patches on your shirt.

Must run. I’ve been summoned to impersonate a milk cow. Again.