Happy 1/6th birthday Nico

Nico is 2 months old today (well 2 months and 1 day if you wanted to get all technical on me).

I have found that my body clock isn't forever stuck on Lunch Hour and has finally started to move along and developed a motherly instinct. Yes ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I am finding this baby cute!

At 2 months he is quite a bit more interactive than he was as a newborn. And while this is something that is a given to most people, I as a 1st time mum didn't quite know that.

How do we know he's not a retard? Well we don't. But we have got some milestones to check against:

• Mastered skills (most babies can do) at 0 month:
  - Can focus on objects 25cm (for the miscreants who still use the imperial system, that's 10 inches) away. Check.
  - Prefers to look at faces and high contrast patterns. We didn't quite give him a choice of things to look at and ask him to rate them in order of preference...
  - Is alert for 1 out of every 10 hours. Check. And no more caffeine for me.
  - Has strong reflexes. Check.

• Mastered skills (most babies can do) at 1 month:
  - Lifts head when lying on tummy. Check.
  - Responds to sound and voices. Check.
  - Stares at faces. Check. He stares so much sometimes I wonder whether I have a bit of lettuce stuck between my teeth.
  - Has begun to unfurl hands and relax muscles. Check.
  - Can briefly hold objects. Check. If you count Mummy's fingers, T-shirt, hair or glasses.
  - Enjoys visual stimulation. Check. A cot mobile is a fantastic buy for anyone with the attention span of a goldfish.
  - Starts to associate crying with need-fulfillment. Ohhh yes. Check.
• Emerging skills (half of kids can do) at 1 month:
  - Can see black and white patterns. Hmm. How am I supposed to know? Ask him if he sees Loki our Dalmatian or Naliah our black & white cat?

• Mastered skills at 2 months:
  - Vocalises oohs and aahs, gurgles and coos. Check.
  - Follows objects across field of vision. Check.
  - Notices his hands. Don't know. How do I know? Will he be staring at them? Will he look all surprised when he sees them? Will he poke them to make sure they're his?
  - Holds head up for short periods. Check. Generally long enough to dribble on his mat.
  - Bring both hands together. Nope. That being said, Nico has no need so far to either clap or pray.
  - Know difference between parents and strangers. Don't know, I haven't quite asked him to point out.
• Emerging skills (half of kids can do) at 2 months:
  - Smiles, laughs. This is another grey area for me. He certainly smiles and chuckles in his sleep and sometimes when he's awake, however this appears to be involuntary facial movements. I think I see a hint of a smile sometimes, but it could be wishful thinking as well. Either way, he really is cute when he does it.
  - Holds head at 45-degree angle. Check.
  - Makes smoother movements. Nope. His movements are still a bit jerky particularly when I make a sudden movement when he's asleep in my arms. And they're generally accompanied by a HolySh*tYou'dBetterNotDropMe look on his face.
• Advanced skills (a few kids can do) at 2 months:
  - Holds head steady. He does every so often, but only when he is carried over the shoulder.
  - Pushes down with legs when placed on surface. Check.
  - Lifts head and shoulders when lying on tummy and does mini-push ups. I've seen him do it on occasions.

First Christmas

Nico had his very first Christmas yesterday, and although he is too young to realise it, he was absolutely spoilt in the way of presents.

We had Christmas Eve dinner at Oma place as we do almost every year, and the table was magnificent, as always. As soon as we arrived, Ji-Hye snatched Nico (well OK. Bas dumped him in her arms) and retreated to the lounge, leaving Mum and Dad free to enjoy a drink or two. Holding Nico was also beneficial to Ji-Hye's English. She learnt the word 'fart'.

Throughout the entire evening, he behaved like an angel (i.e. slept), crying only once to remind me that it was close to his 9pm snack. He slept on a bed right next to the kitchen and dining room, and didn't seem bothered at all by the noise going around him. Here's to hoping this lasts till he's 14.

Presents. I have never brought so much loot home from a Christmas before. He got:

• A pillow & matching Teddy
• A soft stuffed lion
• His first baby toothbrush
• A dummy
• A pack of bodysuits (ack... One reads 'Addicted to diapers')
• A set of overalls, matching hat (fits my head!!!) and matching booties
• A cuddle rag
• His first soft book and noisy toy (not the last noisy toy I assume)
• A 'Merry Christmas Nicolas' quilt
• A T-shirt
• A set of bodysuit, matching hat and matching booties
• A Giggle & Go vehicle set
• A wind-up bath & floor

More pics

Meeting Ba Ngoai for the first time

Bath times are normally quiet and happy - unless I forget to feed him (Nico that is, not Bas) beforehand.

Then Ong Ngoai arrived for his share of cuddles

Tummy time - normally not butt-naked unless Sheryn the Plunket Nurse needs to record Nico's length.

Everyone hands up or the Teddy gets it!

Oma catching up from seeing her grandson only five times in total

10 things I can't do without

Today Nico is 1 month, 1 week old and 1 day old, and over 3.4kg.

Byron's asked what would make a useful/practical present for a baby shower gift, so I thought I might as well list here stuff that I've been using so far.

In no particular order:

1. 
   Breast shells. These are plastic and silicone cups, put inside the bra and used to pick up excess milk while breastfeeding (I think used only by mothers who produce a lot of milk, not everyone will need them). I can leak up to 5ml of milk per feed. What a waste. I found out the hard way that I tended to leak just before and during feeding time. Took me some time to figure out why my hospital gown was wet, as I couldn't recall having drooled on it.






2. Nursing pillow. Just a U-shaped pillow that I put around my waist and use to lie Nico on while breastfeeding. Really good to prevent RSI on both wrist and back. Later on, it can be used to prop him on it . Can also be used to whack Daddy with when he snores too loudly.






3. Muslin squares and cloth nappies. We've got about 24 cloth nappies and 12 muslin squares. They've become ubiquitous items in our household, used for protecting stuff against various liquids that can ooze out of a newborn. The Indian cloth nappies are nice and thick and the muslin squares are a bit lighter and somewhat softer.



4. Sleeping bags! Love them! Great to change a nappy without having to negotiate all these clippy buttons, particularly at 3am when my fingers are less than nimble and my puffy eyes less than sharp. I mean why on earth would I need 13 buttons on a baby suit? The less fancy ones are available at any baby clothes store. We also got the Go Go Bags for night time and winter.


5. Nursing bracelet. Because sleep deprivation, baby brain remnants and the learning curve are all taking their tolls on my memory and I need to keep track when Nico was last fed, and on which side.
   
   
   
6. Breast pads. Because the mind has no control over dairy matter, and come feeding time, milk will find its way out onto bras and sometimes T-shirts. I got some cotton ones, but come to think of it they are pretty easy to make out of any absorbent fabric. If only I knew how.
   


7. A sling. Perfect when going out and about, they're a neat way to carry Nico around and still be able to handle stuff. We have got two, one Nature's Sway and one Little Kiwi Babysling.














8. Baby's first 100 days. Because I'm a noob of a mum. This book goes through all sorts of really useful info and has given me the best burping technique to date. And it doesn't involve pulling anyone's finger. Can be obtained from the Landscape Rd Plunket.
   
   
   
   
9. A nightlamp. When disturbing the breadwinner's sleep is not an option, my salt crystal lamp provides a nice ambient glow at night time so I can keep an eye on Nico when he stirs in his sleep, give him a feed and change his nappy.
   








10. 
    Some form of entertainment. Books, iPod, laptop etc are required during these feeds. Or else...

Multi-purpose car seat

Under New Zealand law, it is required that all children under a certain age travel in either a capsule, car seat or booster seat depending on their weight.

So we equipped my car with a convertible car seat in the back, which takes quite a bit of room.



One day I took Loki to work with me (he's normally strapped to a harness on the passenger seat) and left him in the car.

This sight greeted me on my return.

Settling in

Nico is three weeks and a day old today.

The house would be a mess if it wasn't for my mum's presence, and my days revolve around feeding, burping, nappy changing and swaddling. And again. Eight times a day.

The house is now equipped with a cot downstairs in the lounge, and our bedroom upstairs has got the portable cot and the change table.



The portable cot, which was initially purchased by Oma for when Nico stays at her place. Next to it are the heater and a night lamp, which are both turned on at night time.

The change table. Close on hand are the box for dirty nappies and the dirty laundry bag.

A burst of colour in our normally dull lounge.





Daddy's duties involve bathing our Tadpole and his rubber ducky every two days, changing nappies whenever I manage to corner him, and looking after the dirty laundry.

So what does the laundry bag look like in a typical 24-hour period?






07:30

After Bas has emptied the contents from the previous day.








10:00


The first batch consisted of cloth nappies stained with spills.













14:00


The next feed and nappy change brought on more spilling as well as wet clothes from a leaky nappy.










2:30


Twelve hours, two spills and one leaky nappy later. Add to that a session of wetting the stretch n grow right as I put it on.









5:30


Why have we got so many white clothes for a baby? Shouldn't they be yellow?





Note that this particular batch was light... No bed sheets wet from a leaky nappy, no shirt accessorised with spills over the shoulder, no skirt dripping with urine after I got hopeful and carried him without nappy on.

Events on 29 October 2007

Zodiac sign: Scorpio

Chinese sign: Golden Fire Pig

Weather in Auckland: warm & sunny

Headlines internationally: Argentina elects its first female president, Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner.

Top song: Apologize by Timbaland and OneRepublic

Top movie: Resident Evil: Extinction


Far side:

Pics!

Just after he was born, for the first skin-to-skin contact.

Our first family photo.

Modern technology allowing me to announce straight away the good news to my Dad - who didn't believe me at first.

A little pink raisin.

Who's a proud grandma?

Daddy doing a great job at not dropping his son.

All together now:
awwwwww...

SUSHI!!! Finally!!!

Addendum: 37% of voters said Tadpole would show up before his EDD...

Introducing Nicolas Martens, a.k.a. Tadpole

Nicolas was born 32 minutes into Monday 29 October 2007.

Three weeks before the estimated due date and without private anaesthetist, my latest project was delivered, as Vaughan puts it, before schedule and within budget. He is a normal-sized baby at 48cm. He was always going to be a light baby, but because he didn't reach full term per se, he's even lighter than anticipated, with a weight of 2.265kg (5lbs). Not having time to put on these last three weeks' worth of baby fat meant that Nicolas' blood sugar levels were low and therefore had to be monitored.

The delivery went quite quick, apparently a midwife's dream. I started feeling contractions on Sunday at around 16:00, during the Parent & Child Show. Not that I knew what contractions felt then, so I just thought that it was some random, harmless abdomen stuff going on. When it finally dawned on me what it might have been, Bas was a bit useless on the confirmation front, having never felt contractions or period pains before either. We arrived at the hospital at 21:00 and by that time the contractions were starting to feel quite painful, but not partner-abusing painful. Yet. By 22:30 I was on heat bag, hot shower, gas and Pethidine. I don't know if any of them helped manage the pain, but I sure wasn't going to stop taking them in order to compare with and without. When Dr McPherson arrived at 23:00, he was surprised to find out that I was already 7cm dilated. I guess that because I wasn't screaming obscenities yet, he must have thought that I was another hypochondriac drama queen who would have to be sent home till it truly was time. I had a another whole 3cm to go. At 1cm per hour, that meant that the pain could go on, and increase, for another three to four hours - something I definitely was not looking forward to. Thankfully things got a bit more rushed at around midnight. Waters gushing out after a charmingly audible plop, three pushes and voilà! With a squeak and a wail, Nicolas arrived into this world. All according to the birth plan too. There was some finger-crushing which Bas handled staunchly like the fantastic support partner he was, and there was also a tiny little bit of swearing though I was considerate enough to translate in French so as not to offend any hospital personnel, but no crying, no stitches, no forceps/ventouse, no epidural. Just lots of pain. Can't figure out whether this is more painful than the injection of Tetanus I received in my dog bite wound when I was a kid. In any case, if Nicolas turns out an ungrateful boy, he'll have some answering to do.

The next five days were spent at Auckland Hospital, in room 11. I had my private room which was nice and spacious enough to receive visitors. Most of the medical personnel were nice, informative and helpful, with a handful making you doubt the quality of training provided here. The food is typical blend hospital food but is definitely edible (can't say the same of some of my own cooking so I'm not about to complain). Oh, and any pregnant women make note: BYO soft 3-ply toilet paper. Walking around the corridors was an interesting experience. The walls are plastered with posters, sporting two main themes: breastfeeding and hand hygiene. I gather from that, New Zealand mothers use formula milk for their kids and don't often wash their hands.

The end is nigh...

I am 8 months pregnant today. Four more weeks till this unknown is unleashed upon me. Now seems to be the perfect time to reflect upon the last few months and sum them up.

• Freakiest thing: seeing my abdomen bubble, move and wave as Tadpole kicks around.
• Freakiest thought: knowing that I have two brains. Unfortunately despite what Stefan thinks, neither of them is currently fully functional.
• Funniest pregnancy announcement: I skyped my parents and they wouldn't believe me when I told them that I was pregnant. Had to pass them onto Bas and they believed him!
• Funniest pregnancy realisation: meeting Sue in the lift and receiving several sideways glances at my stomach till she summoned the courage to ask me if I was pregnant (could have been a beer gut!)
• Most annoying thing: No sushi. No sashimi. No carpaccio. No antipasto. No pâté. No V. No cocktails.
• Most daunting thing: the sheer amount of information (sometimes contradicting) available out there. I have learnt so much about the human body I'm ready to attend 'Who wants to be a millionnaire?'.
• Most embarrassing moment: being in a business phone conference with five people in Wellington, three people in Auckland, and releasing a 70dB, conversation-stopping burp.
• Most hair-raising moment: watching the first drop of milk come out.
• Most notable moment: rushing over to a sleepy Bas to show him the positive pregnancy test. And the instructions after he wouldn't believe me it was positive.
• Most painful thing: hip pains, which started about a week ago. The wet and cold spring weather aggravated it.
• Most panick-stricken moment (to date): being told on Thursday that Tadpole's head was now engaged. This means that it could be any time now.
• Most relieving moment: being told that Tadpole had settled into the best position possible for birth and that there'd be remote chances of him moving. This meant less chances of needing a caesarean.
• Most surprising thing: how much an unborn mini-me can cost, considering there's no demand for luxurious accommodation, lavish food and drinks, fancy clothing, expensive entertainment or unecessary beauty products.
• Most tiresome thing: baby brain. Not being able to focus during meetings or remember whether I've already asked/done/said something, being constantly mentally and physically drained and taking twice as long doing stuff, is making me feel fairly useless both at home and at work.
• Most useful outcome (or so I hope): becoming more domesticated, or at least learning how to cook a wider range of healthyish meals.
• Nicest thing: having a cleavage for the first time in my life.
• Sweetest thing: family, friends, co-workers and even strangers showering us with kindness and presents.

Tadpole position

I'm 34 weeks today.

On Thursday we visited Dr Geoff Bye for a 30-minute discussion centred around my birth plan. Which of course I forgot at home.

Not a big deal anyway, as they had their own. It's pretty much a form to say what we should do when we think that labour has started. It's also got little squiggly lines which represent the doctor's writing about my preferences during labour and birth.

So the signs of labour are either:

1. Regular contractions - one every 5 minutes, lasting 40 to 60 seconds
2. Waters breaking with the mucus plug which apparently looks like snot. The waters should be clear. If they're brownish then Tadpole would have pooed in his organic bath tub, in which case we'll have to go to the hospital immediately as it's an indication that he's stressed. I have to say, if he's just stressed about labour, wait till he grows up and learns what stress really means
3. Bleeding like a period or heavier

My section on coping with labour was pretty empty. The environment will be going from wherever I am at the time (and hopefully not while I'm at the Parent & Child Show, or worse while in a work meeting) straight to home. Bas will be my support person, and my preferences in labour really are about what will get Tadpole out ASAP with minimum pain for both of us. Especially me.

Pain relief options. Well with the MOH withdrawing funding for private anaesthetists, we're left with a $400 - $600 bill if we want one. To be honest I don't care if the aneasthetist is private or not. Until epidural time anyway, in which case I'd definitely want the person to understand that I'm paying them half a grand not to screw up with my spine. If I can do without the epidural, then TENS, Gas and Pethidine are definitely on the list. What a shame that I can't use fermented sparkling grape juice instead, this has been proven over the centuries to be the best pain relief option around, with not too many chemicals involved. Positions - again, whatever is best at the time. I've asked to try and avoid the episiotomy, unfortunately it's that or a tear, neither of which I'm interested in. Geoff compared it to passing a grapefruit out of your mouth. I must have had a look of utter confusion on my face while I misunderstood what he said and pictured a grape coming out of his mouth. Assisted delivery, where needed, involves either ventouse or forceps. I think I'd rather have the plunger over the tongs.

The third stage is after the birth. Bas doesn't seem too intent on cutting the umbilical cord - understandably, especially after Didier said it comes off with a 'crunchy' sound and you have to put some effort in. And before that I had imagined it was more like cutting a ribbon at an inaugural event. Cord blood banking - we won't do it in the end as it doesn't look like there are any sure fire uses for it in New Zealand. I really hope we're making the right decision. Active management placenta delivery. An injection helps expel out the placenta, the pro is that it reduces blood loss, and the con is that we'll only have a 10-minute window before my body closes shop thus risking trapping the placenta in.Placenta - we're certainly not keeping it to bury under a tree for Loki to dig out, or putting it in the freezer and risking an accidental defrost in preparation for a dinner.

Tadpole - whom I hope will have a definitive name by then. I'll try to breastfeed. So far there are no indications as to why I won't be able to. Besides the psychological block induced by the knowledge that someone I've never seen in my life is going to suck my nipples. Vitamin K injections are apparently compulsory in the US. If American parents wish to decline this, they'll have to have a court order. In New Zealand, it is still optional even though it helps reduce chances of cerebral palsy. Thomas is affected by cerebral palsy, and we'll have that injection any time. As Geoff said - declining this injection because it's not 'natural' indicates that people forget how disabilities, deaths and natural disasters are also natural. Whether they're wanted is a different matter. Specific paediatric issues. I can't remember what was said, and there's some sort of sanskrit-looking writing placed there by Geoff which I can't decipher. Cot death prevention awareness. Just a reminder not to place Tadpole on his belly, in bed between the two of us (Naliah would object anyway), or smoke around him, which we already knew of. Car seat. Purchased, tested and will be placed in the car beginning of November. Guess I'll have to learn how to use it, that might help.

Postnatal issues. I'll end up in Birthcare, hopefully within 4hrs of birth (24hrs if there's a caesarean involved). I'm going for my own room - don't want to have my rest, or Tadpole's, interrupted by another woman's baby or visitors.Postnatal midwife has been sorted. Beverly Thys, whom I'll need to contact beginning of November. Immunisation. Yes. Registration on the National Immunisation Register will be done by our GP during a routine visitPaediatrician. Again, same story with the MOH withdrawing funding for private paediatric care in labour, so the fee for private paediatricians is $200 - $250. I wonder where that money goes; www.treasury.govt.nz won't work for me. What an irony that it is the labour government that's withdrawing funding for two things related to labour. (rant about the NZ government is now over)

After the discussion, we had the routine checks. Diagnostic:

• Weight: 55kg (I did have my coat & shoes on)
• Tension: 120/70 (This seems a bit higher than normal, but we did happen to discuss labour and birth and pain just before...)
• Fundal height: normal
• Heartbeat: normal

He also prodded around to see how everything was positioned in there, and boy was I glad to hear that Tadpole had adopted the ideal position: head down, feet to the RHS by my ribs, butt to the LHS by my waist (which has now disappeared under the blob of fat I've grown over the months). This doesn't mean that he's engaged and ready to pop out (Jai thought that it was the case and freaked out), just that this is one more chance for me to avoid a caesarean (which would be needed if he was a breech baby, i.e. butt first). There is still a 1-2% chance that he'll turn around so I guess I'll keep on lying on my left side till he completely runs out of room to turn around.

Last antenatal class

Tuesday was the last night for the series of antenatal classes.

The guys were sent to the kitchen area (I guess a nice change for some of these blokes - no, I'm not referring to you Bas, I love your hot chocolates too much to even think about being a smart ass.) to list their manly concerns about fatherhood.

So we, the less fortunate halves, were left to our own devices and discuss girly topics.

Traditionally, girly topics revolve around men, shopping, babies, fashion, Desperate Housewives and sex. Not that evening. We talked about poo, stitches, audience, breasts, weight gain and oh look! sex.

Sensitive souls, do not read beyond this full stop.

• Poo: most women in labour have, and will.
  The good news are - midwives are so used to it that they'll deal with it before the labour partner even notices.
  The even better news are - you can always head to the toilet prior to delivery.
  If you wait till the last minute to go to the toilet, the potentially bad news are - you'll be pushing from the general lower abdomen area, so you might end up having a home water birth. In your toilet bowl.
• Stitches: tears are also common. Fortunately, most aren't as bad as I thought they were (or maybe my brain went into survival mode again and thrusted a rosy filter around my ears) and generally heal on their own. Some do require stitching, in which case there are some tablets or something that can make water less alkaline and so urinating less painful. And in other cases, the obstetrician (or whoever has the scalpel handy at the time) will perform the cut. Any way to help prevent this? Yes. Dip a thumb or two in massage oil and rub them where they don't belong.
• Audience: how many people will take a peek in there? Labour partner(s), midwives, obstetrician, anaesthetist, paediatrician, and potentially any hospital intern/student. Any attempt at modesty will be promptly forgotten and/or ignored.
• Breasts: they've inflated. They may deflate. They'll degravitate. Nothing can be done.
• Weight gain: it's about normal to gain 10-12kgs during pregnancy, and slimmer frames are more likely to lose the weight faster. I distinctly heard someone gasp when I said that I've only gained 7kgs. Unfortunately there will still be a leftover bump after delivery, presumably caused by the vital KitKat reserves built up over the past 9 months. Wearing these corset-type nana's underwear might help.
• Sex: still possible until the last week of pregnancy, though if some women are not in the mood, they can always resort to wearing the aforementioned underwear as a deterrent.

Another visit at Auckland Obstetric, this time meeting Dr Paul McPherson again.

After all these nights struggling to learn to sleep on my left hand side, NOW he's telling me that it doesn't matter.

And that one theory as to why Dutch women are having such easy labours is because they bike everywhere. Easier said than done, Holland is as flat as a pancake, not hilly like New Zealand. Must remember to ask Bas to install the wind trainer in the lounge so I can have another token go at exercise.

Babies & boobs

I'm 31 weeks pregnant today.



On Tuesday was our antenatal class #5, with the focus on breastfeeding.



So we found out all about the advantages of breastfeeding, but not quite about its limitations, since the trend these days is to encourage breastfeeding.



Why breastfeed? Well there are a lot of reasons that websites, brochures, books, magazines, organisations, nurses, obstetricians, lactation consultants, midwives, mothers etc will list out so I won't bother. But three words: Less. Smelly. Nappies.



Why not breastfeed? There are only very few reasons not to, but Richard yesterday said something along the lines of 'mutilated nipples', which were more convincing than anything else. Thankfully, it wasn't a reference to Hari's cannibalistic tendencies. Instead he was outlining the importance of getting as much info as possible from lactation consultants - I think I'll most definitely do this.



So, things for me to remember:

• Feed Tadpole as soon as he shows signs of wanting to feed. It probably would have helped if I had taken note of what these signs are.


• To avoid mastitis (where the milk clots in the ducts and creates an infection), hold Tadpole in all sorts of positions (except upside-down) where he can use up all the milk ducts. Alternatively coerce Bas into massaging me after each feed.


• A newborn's stomach is about the size of a small marble so Tadpole will not want to feed a lot at first. After 10 days it will be about the size of a golf ball.


• We should give him anything other than breastmilk, including water, till 6 months. Curse my short memory, I can't remember why we have to stick to breastmilk for that long.


• Some people recommend breastfeeding till the child is 2. I can't see this happening with me. I know that this is natural and that some cultures have done this since the dawn of time, but women in these cultures also happen to have breasts like this.

We watched a video which felt a lot like an audio-visual pamphlet on why we should breastfeed. I've never seen so many naked breasts in my life. And before the guys ask where they sign up, remember two things:

1. You have to get your girlfriend/partner/wife pregnant in order to be eligible to watch this video.
2. These are NOT the photoshopped type of breasts you see on the Playboy centrefold. Some of them will have stretch marks. Most of them will have a baby hanging on the nipple end. All of them will have a liquid-based defense mechanism if you get too friendly.

Information and finances

... or rather, too much information and not enough finances. This seems to sum up the last stretch home.

Today I'm 30 weeks pregnant.
6 more weeks till I go part-time.
8 more weeks till I completely stop work and get to sleep in on whichever day I choose.
And I don't want to hear anyone telling me that thereafter, 7am starts are considered a major sleep in.
10 more weeks till the beginning of the end.

We went to The Cot Factory on Wiri Station Rd today. We had considered various options for Tadpole's bed, which included hammock over the cot, stand-alone hammock, Moses basket, bassinet, portable cot, wooden cot and a combination of the above; and now I can proudly say that I know exactly what these things look like. The reason why we wanted a cot from The Cot Factory is because they are not two, not three, but four in one! AND we got to pick the colour! $1,200 later, we'll get a cot, a small bed end, an inner-sprung mattress, a teething rail cover (Blyth, the director, threw it in for free), a change table and a change mat all delivered to our door.

We also headed to The Baby Factory and low and behold, standing there were Ave and Irene. Ave has got 10 days to go and seemed pretty prepared and serene about it. Irene just needed to buy something. Anything, as long as it had something to do with babies - so we headed home with a sling that she got for us, and a convertible car seat that we selected after much prodding around.
I must clarify that what Irene got us is the type of sling is to carry Tadpole in, so my hands are free. Not the type that you use to throw stones at people.

The Birthcare tour was pretty quick and easy. The birthing rooms are soundproof, which helped because there was a woman in labour right then. That is, this helped us.

Thursday morning - went for another visit at the obstetrician. Lynda seemed pretty happy with my textbook-type progress, with good blood pressure, 28-29cm fundal height and two heartbeats ('like a Time Lord' says Bas who watches too much Dr Who). Apparently around 1 in 3 women in Holland have home births, and about 60-70% woment in NZ go for epidurals - Anglo-saxons have the highest rate of epidural use in the world, which means one of two things:

1. They've got advanced medical technology and have faith in it
2. They are wusses

Tuesday evening - Antenatal class #4. I remember we went through informative stuff. Unfortunately I don't remember much of it, besides the fact that the umbilical cord stump on newborns looks gross. Lucky I wrote down some notes on my i-mate.

Antenatal class #3 and hospital tour

We didn't wuss out this week and went back to the Onehunga Community Hall for the third class. This session was focused on a few things, but I mainly remember the discussion and roleplay around the birth.

Last week they discussed natural pain relief methods, and this week dealt with other pain relief methods, which included gas, injection and of course epidural. Nadine (the midwife who takes the course) seems to like her alternative medecine; I don't think she painted a very pretty picture of the epidural process. But then let's be fair, besides the anaesthetist that charges $600 for the procedure, I can't think of many people who would manage to make it sound appealing. Darryl-Lee said it was the worst 15 minutes of her life. She also said she'd do it all over again.

So, the birth...
During the first stage, dilation is at around 1cm per hour. If not already done, make sure there's tarpaulin everywhere, especially on the car seat as amniotic fluid will instantly reduce the car's resale value.
Calling the midwife needs to be done at the second stage, when contractions come every five minutes and last for a minute. Unless it's night time, in which case I should wait till the morning so as not to piss off the woman who will be spending some time poking things around in between my legs.
If the placenta expelling needs to be artificially induced, we have 7 minutes before the cervix shuts down for business. Some people take it home, presumably to bury it under a tree to celebrate the birth. I hope these people don't have a dog that likes digging.

We were given some photocopies, about "Unexpected outcomes" and ways for the LMC to deal with them. Nice way to call all the things that can screw up during labour. They included:

• Induction of labour, if there are risks to the mother or baby. In which case they'll put some Prostaglandin on the vagina; but other methods include hot baths, hot curries and hot sex. Works for me. Except for the curry.
• Artificial rupture of membranes, where the sac has to be manually poked and burst
• Augmentation, if the contractions are weakening. In which case an IV drip of Syntocinon is given
• Baby's heart beat monitoring, to check that they aren't getting stressed, and if so they'll pass meconium (baby's first poo... inside me :-S )
• Forceps / ventouse, which are respectively a set of metal salad tongs / plunger to pull the baby by the head
• Caesarean section, which apparently are performed on 30% women at Auckland Hospital.

On Thursday evening we went to Auckland Hospital, for a tour around the facilities. All the women who attended looked so heavily pregnant, the only bump that was slightly smaller than mine belonged to a man.

The hospital is huge with 9 floors in the main building, and I'm quite glad we went. We found out where to park, where to go, we got to see what a delivery room looks like, and how to get out of there. Good to know: there are cafes. And a bookshop. Though things weren't quite perfect - St Pierre's Sushi is missing out on a fantastic business opportunity there, with 600 births a month.

The visit was about 30mins long, and by the end of it I finally managed to relax. I hadn't heard a single blood-curling scream, or seen any nurse rushing around with a worried look on their face. But maybe it's because there are no nurses left in New Zealand.

I did notice a lot of people walking around with stethoscopes around their neck though. It's probably a status symbol in the medical world. I wonder whether the neurosurgeons walk around with TWO stethoscopes.

Yet another visit

Today I am 28 weeks and 1 day pregnant.

On Thursday morning we met with Dr Paul McPherson.

Nothing worth noting, my blood pressure is at 95/50 (or maybe it was 90/55), Tadpole's heartbeat still sounds like a journey on train rails, and my fundal height (measured from the top of the pubic bone to the top of the uterus to estimate to assess fetal growth and development. Not to be confused with fungal height) is about average.

He said that Tadpole is about 900g - 1kg. I've now reached 54kg, so my increase in weight (7kg in total) seems on the light side, but still falls within normal range. We raised the question of Tadpole's size, so to very roughly predict his birth weight, we'd have to calculate the average birth weight of European babies, then the average birth weight of Asian babies, and then average these two figures. Before I could put my brain into mental calculus mode, its self-survival function took over and shut down before I figure out my chances of having either an episiotomy or a caesarian.

Turns out that at this stage, what I eat will not affect Tadpole's size, only mine. Time to go shop for more KitKats and Wendy's. Although let's be honest, I can't say with a straight face that that I've been depriving myself a lot anyway.

On Friday morning, BAT and BT were having morning tea as we always do (the highlight of my week unless there are no sausage rolls), when Don pointed out that my shoe lace was undone. I was aware of that, but couldn't be bothered trying to find a comfortable position to bend down and tie them, so I thought I'd leave it till... (this is where my thought process stopped)So Robin, who was standing next to him, just kneeled on the floor and tied the shoe lace for me.Three words: gratitude, embarrassment, and blushing. All that extra blood flowing in my body suddenly defied gravity and pumped straight up to my face at the sight of my CIO kneeling in front of me with 30-odd people watching. Anyway, that was proof that chivalry still exists in the 21st century.

Tadpole's heartbeat

Here. Recorded on 07 August - a bit more faint this time as we were mucking around with the recorder, but still audible.

Life as a fish tank

Today I am 26 weeks and 3 days pregnant.

That I feel full after eating just a little bit, I can deal with. After all, it's a feeling that is new to greedy me.
That I have to go to the toilets so often, I can deal with. Makes giving urine samples easier.
That Tadpole's kicks distract me during meetings, I can deal with. Servers and SANs can only hold my interest for so long anyway.
That I'm getting an impersonation of Alien about to pop out of Sigourney Weaver, I can deal with. It's quite entertaining really.
One thing I really could do without is this slight awareness in the back of my mind that I will need to go to the toilets soonish, awareness which suddenly turns into a very pressing need to go NOW after Tadpole mistakes my bladder for a football.

On 03 August we went for our last scan at Insight Radiology, for the SCOPE research. All was good, nothing really worth noting besides the fact that Tadpole wouldn't present us a good profile for the DVD, so the radiologist told me to lie on my side, then proceeded to shake me all about. During this time, I stopped feeling less like a fish tank and more like a snow globe. We did manage to get yet another cool 4D image:



Also went to the Obstetrician on 07 August, Dr Eva Hochstein. I wanted to talk to someone about my wrist and my hip, as I think I'm getting Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, which affects about 1/4 to 1/3 of pregnant women. Not much I can do till the Hospital's physio contacts me, in the meantime try not to sleep with my wrists all curled up and massage it when it's sore to get rid of all the fluid, sit up straight and don't bend so much. Which is particularly difficult to avoid with the latest arrival in our family and a companion for Tadpole - Loki:





Loki is a 7-week-old pure-bred Dalmatian that we got from a breeder in Pukekohe, Lisa Monti. He's just a lovely-natured dog, very playful, outgoing and smart, but I do have one regret in getting him: I've started getting a taste of what sleep deprivation is about, after getting in only 3 hours' sleep, two days in row. If we get parental leave to recover from it, why don't we get puppy ownership leave???

Anyway - blood pressure: 110/60, uterus: 25cm.

Today was our first antenatal class. These classes are free of charge, unless you want to purchase the reading material (his and hers) for $25 or so, which we did. Our sessions are held every Tuesdays 19:00 at the Onehunga Community Centre by Nadine, a midwife.

Things we learnt today:

• You can own a TV and still end up with 5 kids. And without necessarily being a Christian.
• Of the 10-12 couples that were present, only Bas and I are going through an obstetrician. Others are going through midwives.
• September through to October are peak-hour seasons in terms of baby births. Bas reckons it's because of the Christmas holidays.
• There's a Lactation Consultant available at Birthcare, whom I can meet for advice once, free of charge. 'Lactation Consultant' sounds like quite a fancy position title, considering the person will just spend his or her time telling someone how to stuff a nipple into a baby's mouth. And I do hope it's a woman. A male Lactation Consultant would be just like a driving instructor who doesn't own a car.
• Raspberry leaf tea, homeopathy, 5W (whatever this is, I was daydreaming again when she spoke about it) and sitting straight up or slightly leaning forward are all likely to contribute to Tadpole positioning himself so that he doesn't come out butt first (in which case it would be a breach birth, which is no good).
• Labour is made of four stages, creatively called Latency (contractions), 1st Stage (cervix dilates from 3 to 10cm), 2nd Stage (from 10cm-cervix to birth) and 3rd Stage (from birth to ejection of the placenta).

Master, it lives! (part 2)

I am 24 weeks pregnant today.

On Thursday evening, I was being a couch potato when I felt Tadpole kick. Bas was around so I figured I might as well summon him over to have a feel. He must have misunderstood me because he tried to have a fondle instead.

I wasn't too hopeful, as on Tuesday I had placed his hand over my bump and he couldn't feel the kicks even though I could (he must have been too distracted by Jessica Alba in her Fantastic 4 suit). And sure enough, Tadpole got coy and went all quiet.
And just as Bas left, he started kicking again. Typical. This time Bas came over on time to feel not one, not two, but three kicks in a row.

While Bas was all grinning and happy that 'our son is growing strongly', I certainly wasn't looking forward to being at the receiving end when, in 5 months' time, Tadpole runs out of play room and decides to use one of my ribs as a rattle, or my full bladder as a soft toy.

Oh well. So far, it's not painful at all and it's even kind of a fun feeling. I'll just have to keep on ignoring all these people (including my poor mum) who say it does hurt.

Signs I'm starting to show

Today I'm 23 weeks and 2 days.



I've reached the growth spurt stage. Unfortunately I'm growing forward, not upward.



From now on and I guess till birth, my abdomen will grow a centimetre per week. Today I am 84cm (for the slow pokes who haven't switched to the metric system yet, that's 33"...). So all going good, before Tadpole pops out, I'll be 84+17=101cm (or 39.7"). No wait, maybe it'll grow an inch per week; in which case, I'll be 33+17=50" (127cm). Will have to get Bas to confirm. I don't dare taking out the tape measure to find out how big this is.



Although I guess I'm not too big, from what people are saying. I have more of a beer gut than a pregnant belly, but for those who know that I'm pregnant, it's getting obvious.



Just how obvious is it in my day-to-day life?

• My toes remain visible until I stand up straight. Now I see them, now I don't...


• Bending over to reach a glass of water, with the laptop over my lap, results in my belly mousing and clicking using the touchpad. I've learnt to save my work before doing so.


• Bas notices it getting in the way when we kiss and hug. I still maintain it's his belly.


• I have to hold my breath in when bending down to tie my shoes. That, or resign myself to heavily drop to the floor and sit in order to reach my feet.
  
• I'm starting to have very slight trouble getting in and out of the car, or the couch. I haven't dared touch the beanbag lately, but Jai insisted she wants some entertainment when she comes over for lunch next week-end.


• People briefly divert their eyes from mine when we talk. Interestingly enough, women seem to do it more openly than men.


• Naliah, our cat, is finding it increasingly difficult to claim my lap space when I'm using the laptop.


• Bas keeps on rubbing my belly as if a genie was going to come out of it. I guess something will, eventually.


• I now wish I hadn't teased Trudy about how much she waddled like a duck when she was pregnant. I have to remind myself that I can still walk gracefully.
  
• I've bought a belly band and a maternity belt. If I don't, my belly will get cold and my now mostly unzipped trousers will fall off.


• At the end of the day, I love to slip into something more comfortable. Like track pants with elasticated waist.

22-week visit

I am 22 weeks and 5 days pregnant today.

Another routine check at Auckland Obstetrics, this time with Dr Geoff Bye. I have met Geoff before, when he was specialising in gynaecology and not obstetrics (yes there is a difference. One's a woman specialist, the other's a pregnant woman specialist). He successfully removed pre-cancerous cells before they became an issue, so I'm quite grateful for these smears.

The normal procedure is for me to do a DIY urine check (just a tab with sensors for glucose and protein, like these Ph tab thingies on the Ph-neutral Dove soap ads) and weight before seeing the obstetrician. But last night, I had a nice long uninterrupted sleep, and had to gently walk (no running or upsetting the bladder at all costs!) to the toilet and therefore didn't have much to provide in the way of samples. So I made sure to have a glass of water and force myself to have a hot chocolate in the hope that it'd be enough.

During the visit itself, nothing outstanding really happened. My blood pressure is good, and Tadpole's heart is still beating. Ahh, the wonders of technology. I took my i-mate with me, and here's the result.

This time, most of the questions that we had would be addressed at 30-35 weeks of pregnancy, so no point in having them answered then trying to remember the answer 2 months later.

Reception gave us an independent midwife's card, Beverley Thys, to contact and book for post-natal care. She also said that only 5% women have their baby on the due date, and most first-time mothers have them later than the due date. Why don't they then just change gestation duration from 40 to 41 weeks escapes me. And she recommended that I take it easy during the last month. And I'm not sure why Bas smirked when she told me to get plenty of rest.

Then I remembered (all right then, Bas reminded me) that I still needed to test my urine. So I merrily headed to the toilets, confident that I drank enough hot chocolate.
And just before buckling up my pants, realised that I forgot something - to use the test tab.

I'm 51kg.

Baby showers

I'm 22 weeks and 4 days pregnant today.

Ave had a baby shower last Sunday at Shona's place.

That was the first baby shower I've ever attended, and judging from the hints that a few people have dropped now, it won't be the last - I'm expected to have one as well.

It actually was a lot more entertaining than I had expected. Shona's great at organising these things (she organised some activities at Ave's hen's party as well), with fun activities and yummy food.

Things I learnt on this day:

• It's really difficult to suck fruit juice out of a #1 teat from a baby bottle
• Baby nappies are a lot smaller than I thought
• I don't know any English nursery rhyme
• I am physically unable to go "awwww...." at the sight of baby clothes, as hard as I may try

Let's say that I wouldn't mind having a do - after all, one of my goals this year is to be (somewhat) more social with my fellow humans. But I just don't think I can deal with all the attention. Oddly enough, if I'd have no trouble if I was doing some public speaking, but this kind of informal constantly-being-the-centre-of-attention isn't my cup of tea. Maybe I should train my baby shower guests on ClientBase Opportunity Recognition?

Second issue: can't handle all the hormones which will no doubt surface up at the sight of baby gear. I think growing up and working in male-dominated environments will have this effect on anyone.

Anyway, I told Bas I'd make up my mind as to whether I'd have a baby shower after I've attended Ave's. Fine. I'll have one if he can come up with a solution to the two aforementioned issues.

Master, it lives!

I was in the process of dragging my sorry self out of bed this morning, trying to convince some random part of my body to feel sore enough to warrant a sick day, and miserably failing.

And then it hit me.

More accurately, a limb hit me from the inside of my abdomen.

This is the first time that I've felt a kick (well it could have been a poke or a headbutt for all I know) for sure. It didn't feel like I had, or ate, butterflies, or like I was about to fart, and didn't feel like flutters either. More like a noticeable heartbeat way lower than where my heart normally sits.

Now I need Maltesers and a couch.

Baby stuff shopping

Pumpkin Patch in Dressmart was the very first baby stuff store that we had dared venture into in our entire lives.

After the initial bewildered feeling ("Ohmygod my eyes!!! Why is everything so pink???") and getting our eyes adjusted to the level of brightness from all the pink clothes, we wondered why on earth would a mum want her 2 y.o. kid to wear a denim mini-skirt. It was hard to find an item of clothing that did not have pink or flowers or butterflies on it, and I could not figure out what boys' parents would buy. So we had a quick wander around the store - nothing that really tickled our fancy, and besides how could we justify spending that much on three square pieces of cloth just so a kid could drool on it? Or a pair of socks that costs more than my own, which by the way I will wear for longer than 3 months?

Moving on a bit further through the store brought some light relief. We were in the girls' section of the store, and had now reached the boys' section. I noted that the girls' section felt considerably larger and had lots more choice. Not unlike adults' clothes stores.

We didn't get anything that day - didn't know at the time whether we had a boy or a girl, and neither trucks nor flowers felt very gender-neutral.

Our next bold move involved The Baby Factory in Onehunga. We paid it two visits, the latest one being yesterday, for Ave's baby shower.

The store had a lot more sober feel to it, bright colours and the goods nicely organised by types - not by gender. The Pumpkin Patch merchandisers must be sexist now that I think about it. But again that overwhelming feeling of ignorance came to me again. Why are there 15 types of prams and buggies on display, would a booster seat with the All Blacks logo on it really make a difference to the kid's sporting abilities, and what's the difference between babygros, body suits, gowns, sleepsuits, rompers, singlets and stretch & grows? Why don't babies come with their basic accessories and a user manual on how to use them (the accessories, not the babies), and then we'd just need to go to the store to get the extras, just like with iPods?

We thought it was hard enough to buy clothes for us. Nooo way. Valuable lesson of the day: how to choose babies' clothing.

- How old will the baby be at the time of wearing the item?

• 00000 - Premature, a.k.a. prem
• 0000 - Newborn. But 000 is also for newborns, so maybe this is for small newborns. Or maybe for bigger prematures
• 000 - Newborn. See above. Though some newborns find this is too big. So maybe this is for big newborns.
• 00 - 3-6 months. Or was it 1-3 months? How long do newborns keep their stuff for?
• 0 - Somethingrather. We'll worry about it when we get there.

Oh, and some clothes also come with the age on the label (3m), others come with measurements (64cm). The trick is not to think that 3m is designed for 3-metre-long babies.

- At the time of the baby wearing the item, will the weather be hot or cold?
Fundamental question which we didn't know about till Oma Yoke showed up to provide some 3-times-mother wisdom. Fleece in December is a bad idea, unless a 12-hour trip to Europe with a 3-month-old baby was on the cards.

- Will it be a boy or a girl at the time of wearing the item, and hopefully for the rest of his/her life? As with Pumpkin Patch, clothes are either very girly or very *insert the word for the male equivalent here*. Makes it hard when you don't know what gender the baby is. Neutral colours and designs were a bit blend. And I may be a baby ignoramus but I'd have thought that dressing a vomitting, burping, farting, peeing and pooing baby in white can't be the best of ideas.

But we had to get something for Ave. Thankfully we had a list of stuff she wanted and it wasn't just clothes, but even then we got so confused that we only managed to choose three gifts before settling on a gift voucher.

So now I have this spreadsheet, creatively called Baby.xls, which contains 90 lines of items that can possibly be bought for Tadpole. I have flagged items that are must-haves for a travel bag, must-haves in general, and whether they can be replaced with other less fancy, non-portable, space-consuming items. I have just added a column on where the item would be best procured from (i.e. family & friends).

Pity my goldfish-like brain can't process all this information efficiently.

Anatomy scan

Today I'm 19 weeks and 2 days pregnant.

We went back to Insight Radiology to have our 20-week scan, which is where the sonographer checks that Tadpole has got 4 limbs and 20 digits. At this stage, the baby has got paper-thin skin.

Our sonographer was Dr Jenny Mitchell - she was friendly and clearly explained what she was doing.

The foetus' weight was good - and also not too big, which means I have chances of avoiding a tear, episiotomy (it's a cut to ease out the exit route) or caesarian.

Bits we saw:

• A tadpole


• Two kidneys


• One spine which looked a bit curved, but I guess it hasn't got a lot of room to stretch out.


• One head


• One brain. She measured it. The skull has got some empty space which I guess (and hope) that the brain will fill as it grows.


• One heart. We also heard it, and it was beating strongly. We also saw the blood flow as she turned on colours - blue and red. We also saw my own blood flow into the placenta.


• Two arms


• At least 5 digits on each hand. It's not uncommon to have an extra finger, which can be just chopped off


• Two legs


• Two unclubbed feet


• At least 5 unwebbed toes on each foot


• And a penis

Yes - it's a boy. Time to put aside any bright pink clothing that might confuse anyone thinking that pink is only ever worn by females. And time to check out boy names.

The mouse cursor on the screen capture below indicates the plumbing.

We also spent about 15 minutes for further blood tests and questionnaires for the Scope survey, this time with Bas' involvement. Although traditionally survey participants don't learn anything new, we did find out a thing or two:

• Guys always know more accurately than girls how much sex the couple has during an average week


• I should keep Bas on because he makes me hot chocolates with Cointreau

We met up with Jeff & Ave on the way out. Their bump was sucking its thumb already.

18-week check-up

I am 18 weeks and 5 days pregnant today and badly need to shop for new trousers.

We had another appointment with Auckland Obstetrics, and it was again with Dr Lynda Batchelor.

Pretty non-eventful, she asked if we had any questions, and we had two - but because they are of personal nature I'm not going to publish them.

Again I had my DIY urine test - traces of protein, glucose level is normal.
Weight: 50kg, 1kg up from last time we came.
Blood pressure: "Wonnderful"

She put the microphone to my belly (a fetal doppler I think it's called) and we heard the heartbeat, apparently nice & strong. I was pretty relieving as I'd been feeling various cramps and pulls and other unpleasant sensations. No kicking though, that I could tell anyway.

She also took my measurements - just under 18cm, and apparently it grows by 1cm per week. So I'll be a whole 40cm by the time Tadpole's ready to come out! Bas said I shouldn't take a measuring tape to figure out how big this is. Can't think why...

She also checked my breasts for any lumps. No unexpected lump, just the two usual ones. The doctor mentioned that my nipples were excellent for breastfeeding, which for some reason brings major pride to Daddy-To-Be. And if he thinks he's getting any of Tadpole's milk, he's wrong. She asked if any liquid had leaked out, which apparently is quite normal.

So to sum it up, by the time I'm done with pregnancy, I might go through one or more of the following:

• Morning sickness
• Vaginal bleeding
• Urinary frequency
• Nipple leaking
• Incontinence
• Vaginal secretion
• Breastfeeding

Charming. I have the feeling I've become this container filled with various liquids that's randomly leaking over the course of 9 months.

Nothing else happened, really... The whole thing lasted 15mins, and next week Monday is the anatomical scan. We'll probably find out Tadpole's sex on the day.

By the way, the answer to the doctor's question is no. I'm not leaking and my shirts are perfectly.

What's it like being pregnant?

I get asked this question so often, and I can never come up with short and sweet answers.



So let's look at the Johnson & Johnson pregnancy diary's list of pregnancy "Common discomforts" (I couldn't find a list of "Common comforts") and see which apply to me at 16 weeks.

• Morning sickness (starting at week 5): Nausea started quite early on and is still going on today. Fortunately, it's only been bad enough for me to ask Bas to stop the car 2 or 3 times. Unfortunately, it's not just morning. I'm getting it about every 2 days. I'd whinge about Trudy and Anna never getting it, but then again Ave and Shona had it quite bad. Throwing up must have been a total of 5 times so I guess I'm on the luckyish side.
  Cause: occurs because increased hormone activity slows down digestive system, aparently, to enhance the absorption of nutrients for Tadpole.
  Remedies: eat a few dry crackers before getting up in the morning and have small, low-fat meals during the day.
  


• Fatigue (starting at week 6): feeling tired in the morning, not wanting to wake up (more than usual), finding beds and couches highly appealing and falling asleep during the day. I'm getting this every day, and several times a day. I don't think I've ever slept this much.
  Cause: thought to be caused by a change in the ovarian hormones.
  Remedies: exercise regularly (I guess I can forget about that) and get plenty of sleep with frequent naps during the day (yes I have been eyeing Chris' couch whenever I speak to him over the partition). Massage is another way to relax and become comfortable with the changes happening. Rest.
  


• Urinary frequency (starting at week 8): especially since I've starting to drink more often, I've started noticing the supply of toilet paper going down fairly quick. Normally not too annoying unless you go driving / flying/ camping.
  Cause: may be increased as the bladder is compressed against the pelvic bones by the uterus, reducing its capacity.
  Remedies: decrease pressure on the bladder at night by sleeping on the side.
  


• Breast heaviness (starting at week 9): why go get a boob job when you can get pregnant? One lasts for a few years and guarantees that you won't drown when at sea, and the other lasts till you're sick of breasfeeding and guarantees that your partner will try and steal the baby's milk at some point or another. Heaviness isn't much of a problem (well not for me anyway), it's the tenderness that's the painful bit.
  Feeling flushed: nope. Nothing.
  Cause: due to an increase in blood supply. Wish I could donate blood now that I'm over 50kg and have more blood.
  Remedies: rest.
  


• Constipation (starting at week 10): nothing here. Phew.
  Cause: result of the increase of progesterone in the system. This hormone softens muscles in the womb and intestine to accommodate the embryo becoming a foetus.
  Remedies: increase the amount of fibre in diet.
  


• Sleeplessness (starting at week 12): I think that's started a bit earlier for me. Though I'm blaming this on Bas and Naliah.
  Cause: may result from the discomfort or anxieties of pregnancy.
  Remedies: a glass of warm milk before bed.
  


• Gum problems (starting at week 13): nothing either.
  Cause: may result from an increase in blood flow.
  Remedies: visit the dentist now

Other stuff I've experienced?

• Not being able to fit in my jeans for the first time this week. I have some items of clothing that last me for more than 10 years and I've never had this problem before. This just brought me that little bit closer to the reality.
  


• Weight gain. I normally average 47kg, and today I'm at 50kg (this is before dinner). Better not tell Rebecca that a pregnant me is still lighter than a non-pregnant her.
  


• Excitement. Not really. I guess some. I'm too scared to be excited, and this is probably due to the fact that we weren't quite thinking it would take a month, we were thinking about a year of having sex every two days till I get late.
  
• Food restrictions. I'm hating this. More than the morning sickness, the fatigue, the sleeplessness. Right now I just want a massive plate of sashimi, tataki, carpaccio, salmon sushi and cold meat antipasto. With a bottle of Berry V though a flute of Lanson Black Label champagne will do.
  
• Memory loss. Didn't think it would affect me much since I already have a sieve in lieu of a brain, but after forgetting to place my own food order at Hell Pizza, I realised that it's now more like Homer Simpson's.
  
• Frailty. No impact sports, no lifting heavy stuff, no straining myself, watch chemicals or potentially sick animals, etc... Most of the time it's nice to be pampered, and some other times I'd really like to take up capoeira, help Bas carry heavy stuff, try some cardio-intensive gym classes, take whatever drugs (and by that I mean medecines) I want to, or pet any cat I wish. Hard call.
  
• Information overload. Researching and making decisions about pregnancy, birth, raising kids, our work hours, financial planning (or lack thereof). It's a lot of information to digest in such a short time, but some of it is really interesting. Some of it is also gross.
  
• Sorting out my diet & fitness. OK, that's a bit of a stretch. I subscribed to the YMCA 30-day challenge (starting on Tuesday) and I'm drinking more water and forcing myself to eat fruits & vegies and drink milk. Having consciences named Bas and Parents helps.
  
• Attention & advice from other parents. Takes a bit to get used to, especially the belly-staring bit, but it's kind of cute - but the advice is really invaluable to me, especially considering I've never had siblings.
  
• Cravings. I always crave food. The sight of an ad (I'm a sucker for that), the (even imagined) smell of a meal and you can bet that this is what I'll eat within the next 24 hours. Guess I'm not having any more cravings than usual. And right now I'm thinking of a creamy Roquefort on a fresh slice of baguette.

So understandably my answer to the question will be neither short nor sweet (more like long-winded and bitter), but I have to agree with people... Was just an experience to see that tadpole on the screen and hear its heartbeat. And getting pampered by Bas as if we had just started dating.

13 week visit

On 24 May we went to see Dr Lynda Batcheler for a quick check-up.

Turns out at each visit I'll need to have my urine tested (fortunately the current size of my bladder makes this pretty easy) for protein and glucose, and my weight (49kg) and blood pressure ("very good") recorded.

She provided a bit more info about labour and birth than I wanted to hear. Good that my brain has the self-preserving instinct of almost instantly forgetting the bad bits.

She stuck a microphone to my belly and broadcasted to the entire room the gurgling and grunting noises a stomach produces when processing butter chicken. After some time she managed to locate Tadpole's heartbeat - sounded more like a really quick wooh-wooh-wooh than the thud-thud-thud I was expecting. We also heard my own heart which sounded like an asthmatic turtle next to it.

Things we learnt:

• Midwives have a 12-hour shift, so at the most and depending on how long my labour will be, I'll have at the most two. I hope. We requested no trainees.
• Obstetricians work on a 24-hour shift (8am to 8am or 7am to 7am), so don't piss them off. We couldn't choose who was / was not to cover me when I have to go.
• Need to book antenatal classes asap. They go through exercises and things we need to buy post birth and stuff.
• Water labour is good, water births are unnatural. We're air-breathing mammals, not fish.
• The NZ Government is dumb (well that's not news, to me anyway). There is a likelihood that if I need an epidural anesthesia, it may not be performed by an Anaesthetist who will have no incentive to work the long hours, but by some replacement that needs the money. An epidural involves sticking a needle in my spine so there will be less verbal abuse towards Bas when the painful bit takes place.
• Less fatty foods = skinnier baby = less pain.
• The building that once was National Women's Hospital is now just housing Management. I'll give birth at Auckland Hospital (if there is no traffic jam that day), stay there for 4 hours, then transfer to Birthcare which is just a level above AOC.

I also joined the SCOPE study, which is an international (NZ-based) research that surveys a whole bunch of women who are pregnant for the first time (they're hoping for 2,500 in Auckland) to determine which factors are likely to have an effect on:

• Preeclampsia (a condition causing high blood pressure in pregnancy)
• Premature labour and delivery of a premature baby
• Small babies for their stage in pregnancy

I figured, if I can help other people and at the same time get as much pregnancy info/follow-up as I can, then everyone wins.

Nuchal scan

On 14 May we went to Insight Radiology to get Tadpole's scruff measured.

This is for the specialist (we got Dr Alistair Roberts, which was pretty onto it, professional and straight to be point) to measure the thickness of the skin at the base of its neck, as well as the presence of a nasal bone, to help him adjust our chances of having a baby with Trisomy 21.

Everything appeared normal (besides the fact that Tadpole might be black and white instead of yellowish) and our chances of having Trisomy 21, at the time of the scan, was estimated to be at 1:5028. Or maybe at 1:2664. If they stopped having such cryptic information maybe this blog would make more sense.

The nuchal translucency was determined to be at 2.3mm. If the chances are determined to be around 1:300, then an amniocentesis would be offered by the specialist, which is an invasive method of determining whether Tadpole would have Trisomy 21 genes. However this carries a 1-2% chance of miscarriage, so it's really good that I won't have a needle inserted in my belly. Tadpole probably wouldn't like it either.

We left the lab with a DVD and lots of pictures. The DVD was about 10mins long, and it included a 4D scan of the baby floating in its bubble. It even kicked at one stage.

Now just need to find a DVD burner for the grand-parents-to-be's copy. The doctor was right, it's the kind of thing to bore people with... Unless you're family, but I still don't understand how they can stare at it for that long without being distracted by other stuff. That sparked a discussion from Tadpole's grand-parents-to-be as to whether that was a willy that they saw, and whose nose it was.
Consensus: yes it's a boy because of the willy and its kung-fu kick, and he's got his father's European nose.

That thing here above its head isn't Tadpole eating German sausage, but its right arm and right leg. It's got one of these, as well as a left arm and a left leg. Pretty relieving to see if you ask me.

Nausea is slowly fading out and the last time I've thrown up was at the airport on the way to Noumea on 15 May. We had breakfast at McDonald's so it wasn't a major loss of nutrients.

1st ultrasound scan

Today's a pretty big day.

We had our appointment with Dr Paul Patten at AOC for the first USS, which lasted a little over an hour.

The USS is telling us two things:

1. It's a mover. I'm starting to feel sorry for myself already.


2. I'm actually 9 weeks & 2 days pregnant.

We managed to get four printouts of Tadpole, two of which are pretty clear thanks to Dr Yvonne Lake who honed on it like a pro.

It's currently at 2.57ish cm, which is giving us a pretty clear indication that my cycles would be 5 weeks not 4. Or something like that. Anyway, it would then be conceived on 10 February. ETA (or EDD) would be around 17 November. If it arrives just 5 days later, it will then not be a Scorpio (Bas reckons that Leos and Scorpios don't overly get on) but a little archer. In any case it will be a good shot like its mum.

We went through the blood results, which indicated that my red blood cells are a bit skinnier than the average (slightly abnormal haemoglobin E), which seems to be a South East Asian trait. Must be all that rice I'm eating. In itself, not much of a big deal, however it will become if we found out that Bas happens to have the same abnormality too, so he'll be in for a blood sample too to have a full blood count. I'd give more details of what tests he exactly needs to see, but the guy writes like a doctor.

Blood pressure is about normal, 100 over 60 (or maybe it was 60 over 100?). Doctor said that the reason why I feel so full is because of my bowel expanding so I could take in as much of the nutrients as I could. Yuck.

Next appointments are:

• Nuchal Transluscency scan with Insight Radiology on 14/05 at 10:00. This is to determine the risk of Trisomy 21.


• Follow-up appointment with Dr Martin Sowter on 24/05 at 13:45


• Follow-up appointment with Dr Lynda Batcheler on 21/06 at 10:30.

And we're $500 poorer. Not counting the $16,100 I paid for my new car.

So I've told Thomas, whose reaction was fairly comical as he blinked a couple of times before he thought about saying "Congratulations". Vaughan was pretty sweet, giving us a baby top/uniform/jumpsuit thingy, and a card.

Now I've got all these forms from HR to fill in. I remember seeing these forms four years ago even before I started my employment and working on their workflow.

And I threw up for the second time :(
Was a painful one too. And the two Augmentins I took for breakfast and lunch both went bye-bye. So did half of my erwtensoep.

And I love KitKat.

Drugs - Augmentin

10 weeks and 3 days pregnant today.

So I'm on 3 tablets of Augmentin 500 a day, to take with each meal.

Hmmm.
Before you start to take AUGMENTIN
Tell your doctor if:
you are pregnant or intend to become pregnant. Your doctor will discuss with you the possible risks and benefits of using AUGMENTIN during pregnancy.

That I recall, AOC didn't discuss the risks & benefits with me, they just told me to use it. I have my appointment with AOC on Monday so we'll go through it then.

Test results

I got a call today from AOC with regards to the test results.

Of all the things that could have gone wrong I managed to get the least serious one, which is a urinary tract infection. I'm pretty sure this has been going on for quite some time, though when I mentioned it to the GP he managed to put me off by requesting a urine sample.

So I just need to take antibiotics. Will need to check whether I have any Augmentin left at home instead of getting a prescription faxed to the chemist.

Whoops - 10 weeks today.