I got a call from Neil today and it seems that they have learnt, the hard way, that the term 'to sleep like a baby' is a misnomer. Just like most parents have, I suspect.
So I thought I'd list here the list of steps we undertook to help Nicolas learn how to sleep and self-settle.
- Bed routine. Each and every baby info site emphasised it. Especially the ones that sell massage oil or bath products or pyjamas. Whoops I've started to sound cynical already... Our routine (as of today anyway... not that we change it that often) starts at around 5-6ish, when Nico starts to grizzle. It goes: breastfeed >> burp >> solid feed >> play/watch Mummy & Daddy eat >> bath >> massage >> read >> bed. He's normally in bed by 7:30pm.
- Environment. During winter, we turned the heater on a few mins prior to putting Nico to bed, just to take the chill out from the bedroom. I also used a wheatbag to warm up his spot in his cot (yes it was removed before we put him to bed). In summer, I left the windows open during the day. We left a salt crystal lamp on so I could check up on him whenever I woke up, but I guess a dark room is better. I also turned the radio on and tuned it to 92.6 which was the classical channel, and left it on snooze - that's 59mins of background music, though some people have recommended just the white noise. During the day, we left radio, TV, phone, conversation on at normal levels so he'd grow up getting used to noises while sleeping. I also leave stuffed toys in his cot just for a bit of security, and in case he needs to go for a sleepover at Oma's. At the moment he's got Jazzy the lion, whose mane he always grabs before going to sleep, Mukluk the husky, and his bear.
- Swaddling. Interestingly enough, this practice is not widely known in Europe any more, though it is an ancient way to help babies sleep. It was something that we learnt at the antenatal class and again during my stay at hospital. There are lots and lots of ways to swaddle and some will work with some babies, some others won't. There are little Houdinis out there who can wiggle out of almost anything, so some clever companies have come up with swaddlewraps. We just use the standard square cotton nappies and leave one hand out for Nico to suck on. We stopped at one point because he managed to free himself, but we had to resume doing it as it made a major difference. The trick that worked for us in the end was to swaddle him pretty tight like a giant pink spring roll.
- Rocking. Most of the time we didn't pick Nico up when he cried, which was pretty difficult. We did rock the cot to get that rhythm going, which babies like so much. Our Portacot's bassinet floorboard can be lightly swung from side to side.
- Shushing. Another rhythmic thing that we did was making a shhhh... shhhh... shhhh... sound. Not to tell him to shut up and sleep already, but because it reminds them of the sound from the womb.
Literature, baby. Never too early to start reading n
ovels. Daddy read H.P. Lovecraft, and I read Dean Koontz. Lucky babies can't understand just yet else they'd have nightmares of rats behind walls and killer clowns. Bas would sometimes take over and softly talk/read to him. I think it's because of the lower, deeper voice. Not sure that it works on babies other than Nico, but he said Dutch stuff like gouda, komijn kaas, edam. Beats me why and how it worked but who cares, it did!!!
- Peace of mind. We had a timer on my computer which I started as soon as Nico started crying. Every time it reached 5mins, we'd take turns going upstairs (we are so lucky to have a 2-storey house so at least we could distance outselves from our siren... Maybe buy earmuffs for all the people in the house would be an alternative?) and checking up on him, rocking him, pattting him etc. We avoided (well, most of the time) picking him up and it used to take a good 3/4 of an hour for him to cry himself to sleep before the time gradually decreased. The sure-fire way for us to tell that he was OK, was to pick him up. That was the magical Off switch, which confirmed that everything was physically fine with him and he just wanted to be picked up.
We'd take the steps above only if we were sure that Nico was fine - checked by touching the back of his neck that he wasn't too hot/cold, that he was properly burped, his nappy was dry, his tummy full, he wasn't sick, etc. There were times when all that failed and he overtired himself from crying, and that resulted in either him falling asleep, or just got grumpier and grumpier, in which case I resolved to give him a cuddle to settle him and 'reset' his mood before putting him to bed again.
